Swine Flu

I have the swine flu! ehhhh probably not, but I did wake up this morning with a killer sore throat. I think it is probably from going to sleep every night with wet hair, and last night it was relatively cooler than other nights (relatively because I mean 70* versus 80*). But its more adventurous to pretend like I have swine flu. Maybe I will get to spend a month in quarentine when I come back! One can only dream!

Week 2 is done, and I think with the way the months are, I will actually end up being here 9 weeks (8 wks and 6 days) instead of 8 weeks. Next week we are continuing to prepare the clinic for the surgeries that will start Saturday, Sept 5th...around 100-150 in all. This last week was full of cleaning equipment (found a defibrillator out of the stone age) and preparing packets for sterilization. Apparently we are a little short on surgical nurses coming from the states...so this may get interesting if I get pulled into the OR. If I pass out, it´s better to fall backwards than forwards onto the patient, right? Just kidding. After paps, I should be able to handle it. Gosh, that was my own personal form of torture!

Supply and demand is at full swing in Guate....all the tiendas are out of calling cards because last week it was buy one card and get triple the minutes so they got cleaned out. There should be another delivery next month.... :)

The family and I are getting along great. Jose (9 yr old son) loves my Harry Potter dvd´s, and I have to admit, I was a little selfish last night when we were watching it because I put the subtitles in spanish so that I wouldn´t have to read. But hey, its good for him to practice reading....all in the name of education. The daughter, Silvia (24) always squeels my name when she sees me, so the dad has taken to doing the same thing to joke around with me.

There are a couple of really sweet special-needs girls that live close to my house, and they have taken a liking to talking to me when I walk by. But there is one great problem there...throw on spanish with some kind of speech impediment and-or cleft palate and I can´t understand their precious souls! One of the girls is 21 with a cleft lip repair (maybe from Operation Smile?) and she had an unrepaired cleft palate by the way she was talking. Sweet as could be....but I have no idea what we talked about.

Today is a relaxing day at the house, maybe I will pull out some more Harry Potter....I´ve got 4 other movies! I should have brought my Lord of the Rings and Star Wars too though. I should have brought more books and beef jerky and goldfish too. Just an FYI for anyone else that is planning a trip!

Here is the newest from my readings.....

The Ragamuffin Gospel:

p. 111 ¨The conscious awareness of our resistance to grace and the refusal to allow God´s love to make us who we really are brings a sense of oppression. Our lives become fragmented, inconsistent, lacking in harmony and out of sync. The worm turns. The felt security of staying in a familiar place vanishes. We are caught between a rock and a hard place. How do we resolve this conundrum? We don´t. We cannot will ourselves to accept grace. There are no magic words, present formulas, or esoteric rites of passage. Only Jesus Christ sets us free from indecision. The scriptures offer no other basis for conversion than the personal magnetism of the Master.

p. 112 Ïn prayer, Jesus slows us down, teaches us to count how few days we have, and gifts us with wisdom. He reveals to us that we are so caught up in what is urgent that we have overlooked what is essential. He ends our indecision and liberates us from the oppression of false deadlines and myopic vision.¨

Just some thoughts from people who can say it better than I can. Thank you to everyone for your love and encouragement! Praying for you daily.

Paps

Give me blood, give me poop, give me wounds to dehicse, but don't ask me to do papsmears, please. Apparently its the job of the nurse in Guatemala to actually perform papsmears (I guess a cultural/societal thing), but today we have been doing the paps for the referrals from mobile clinics. Rosario taught me how to do them this morning, and since then, the pap patients have been trickling in here in there while I prepare towels/gowns/mayo covers for sterilzation. Its lunch time, but I think my appetite is gone......please let there be no more paps today!

Other than that, things are going well. On Monday, I forgot to write about the best part of the day. We had a little patient come in, Juan, only probably 6-7 months. He was seen 2 weeks ago by the plastics surgery team for a repair of a birth defect to his right hand. Best I can tell, he was born with webbed, stunted fingers so the plastic surgeons separated them, and he was just in for a check-up and wound cleaning. He moves his little fingers really well, and he was just smiling the whole time I was cleaning his hand. He was precious.

Things are going well with the family, getting a lot more comfortable and less formal as we get to know eachother. The Goonies plan didn't work out just right, but last night me, Jose (9) and Janet (21) watched the movie in spanish and the subtitles in english (since I can pretty much quote that movie anyways). They really liked it. Then, after dinner while I was reading/thinking/writing, the mom, dad, and grandma all came in and sat on the bed across from me to talk. It was really sweet. I needed so comforting time. I'm getting to know them better each day, and they are very excited about me getting to be here for one of the daughter's (Betty's) birthday on Sept 4 and Jose's school parade/tournament on the 15th adn 16th. Little by little I am getting more used to being here.

I have so very much to learn and to grow. But God is faithful. He brought me here for a reason, and He will not depart from me now that I am here. I am thankful for all the things I have been given, including the people in my life. Thank you for all the encouragement. Will write again soon.

Week One= Check

Feels like I have been here way longer than a week, but looking back I think week one went really well! Its a whole different lifestyle to get used to here. But the weekend was nice and relaxing. I got to sleep in until 8am on Sunday (they have church at night), and the fireworks at 5am barely woke me up that time! haha.

On Saturday night, I went to the Mejicanos´ house and had a great time visiting with them. The girls loved their baby shower gifts. One of the girls is 8months pregnant and joked about me birthing her child for her at home....at least I hope she was joking! Sometimes things get lost in translation like when yesterday I lost one of my skirts to one of the sisters. She leant me one of her skirts to wear to church, so I thought I would do the same...until it entered one of her drawers not to return! oh well! But, the corn mush has decreased and has been replaced by fresh strawberry juice, a great improvement!

Wow, did I digress. Ok, so Sunday was a good day. I helped the sisters cook....another thing that was lost in translation. As we were cooking, I was under the impression that we were cooking for the whole church when we were just cooking stuff to bring for our family at church. After church, the whole church ate dinner together and shared what each family brought. I am not really sure what all I ate because people kept handing me food.

Today at work went well. This morning, Rosario and I walked to a local school to set up some hygiene lessons for the end of September. They were very excited about it. Rosario asked what I thought we should teach, and I cringed as I felt myself say Sexual Education for the older kids. I am now that nurse, people. After that, I helped one of the nurse techs make packages of suture kits and surgical towels for sterilzation. Many many surgical towel packets. We are just getting ready for the surgical team coming soon.

Going to head back to the house soon. Skipping church tonight (they have church every night!) in hopes of watching The Goonies on my computer. I need some english time! Hope you all are well!

Grace

The Ragamuffin Gospel:
¨Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life...It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: Ýou are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything, do not perform anything, do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted.´If that happens to us, we experience grace.¨p.28-29

Ït is mercy I desire and not sacrifice. I have come not to call the self-righteoous but sinners. ¨ Matthew 9:13

¨My grace is enough for you: my power is at its best in weakness.¨2 Cor 12:9

I am so surprised that God does not literally reach down from Heaven and swat my hands away. What little faith I have. God is trying to do great things in my life, in my heart, and in the heart and lives of ones I love, but I am like a little kid reaching up to try to help but all I do is get in the way of the hands of my Creator. God has given me this great opportunity to learn and grow, to serve and love, but all I can think about is how I will work things out once I get back to the states.
¨This job will work out when I.........¨
¨This relationship will work out if I....¨
Ï will be happier when I.....¨
Rather than sitting in silence, in contentment, my mind races. It´s always all about me. And I am tired of living that way. ¨Katie, My grace is sufficent.¨

He knows the desires of my heart. But He will not bestoy those desires until all my heart desires is Him. I´ve wasted so much time worrying and working for the next big thing. This summer, I tormented myself and my loved ones with my discontent over what I should do next. Even here in Guatemala, with this awesome experience before me, I can´t help but think forward to what I want to do next. But the only thing I should want for is the faith that just in today, I will live just. ¨Katie, My grace is sufficent. ¨

What pride I have....what a feeling of deserving. In reality, the cost for what I deserve has been paid. This grace.

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You may just be wanting to hear what is actually going on here in Guatemala. So, I will get out of contemplative mode for a moment, if you want to hear some lightening stories.

Ok, so last time I came to Guatemala, I must have been a lot tougher or something, because the adventure of eating unknown forms of meat or bathing out of a bucket just doesn´t have the same appeal for me as it did 3 years ago! You know, I thought I was an outdoorsy type of person but the idea of sitting in air conditioning and watching a movie looks wonderful right now. So, as I have been prideful about feeling like I was better or more adventurous for wanting to be outside, I ask for forgiveness, please.
The houses here are build right on top of each other, all open to air so you can hear anything and everything. Last night I finally slept some because I asked one of the sisters to sleep in the room with me. I have been so scared at night. Some kind of animal has been eating the trash outside my window at night, and it takes everything in me to imagine its just some little cat rather than some wild, ravenous dog. Then, the night before last night, my flashlight broke in the middle of the night (which I turn on about 5 times a night) and I don´t think I have ever been more afraid...turns out it was just a giant cockroach, big enough to make noises as it scurried along the ground! So, if in a foreign country, always sleep with 2 flashlights beside your bed!
I haven´t had a shower since last Monday. I don´t really know why, but the family´s shower is broken so I have been bathing out of a 5 gallon bucket! I´ve gotten really good at using only half the bucket......surprisingly, I haven´t noticed myself smelling. But, that may be a different case if one of you smelled me right now.
Oh, and never tell a host family you like a certain drink just to be nice if you don´t really like it. I have been having to drink mushed up corn juice every meal for the last week because the first night I said it was so good. Mistake!
But, besides those laughable things, my time with this family is going great. I stand corrected about the number of children they have. I finally got it squared away. I kept meeting new sisters in the house that seemed to just come out of the woodwork.....there are 7 sisters and 1 little brother in all. They are so very sweet. The grandma never stops smiling, but poor thing, I can´t understand a word she says! So, we just knod and smile at eachother and wash dishes together every night.
The clinic is going great too. The big thing this week was our day of pre-op appointments for more than 150 patients that are coming for the Gen-surgical and OBGYN-surgical week in September. I helped work the admission table where we took lab results, identification, and consent for treatment. It was really funny because the people would wait in line for one of three spots at the table to register, and I couldn´t tell if they people were excited or disappointed when they saw they came to my line because all I could hear was, Äh la gringa.¨
But, we saw all the patients by 4pm, and it was a very fullfilling day. My ´charge nurse,´Rosario, makes my assignments at the clinic, and she has made a great plan for my weeks at the clinic. One week, we are going into local schools to do teachings on hygiene for the kids. Every morning, we have a little devo time (the 5 of us ladies at the clinic), and I was nominated to lead it on Mondays, so we will see how my spanish does! Rosario asked me come with her to her house one weekend to spend time with her sister´s family and kids, so that should be a fun change. Later today, I am going to have a little party with my old family, the Mejicanos. Two of the daughters are pregnant (one of which, Karla, is who I got really close to last time) so I bought two baby shower gifts so I wouldn´t show up empty handed. I bought 2 packets of diapers, 2 bottles, and 2 baby hats which came out to 100Q which is about $15. That´s pretty expensive for stuff here because it was imported. If you buy stuff locally, its only about 1Q (1/8 of a dollar) for like 3 loaves of bread. Its 8Q or $1 for an hour and a half of computer time here at the internet cafe close to the house. Just a little comparison shopping if anyone is interested. I guess that´s all for now. How about you guys start a blog so I can read about you?

Posting

My mom said that she couldn't post any comments, and I tried to change some of the settings in case that was causing it. Sorry if anybody else tried to comment and it wouldn't work! :(
It's a home sick day....why didn't anyone tell me how long 2 months was....oh wait, you tried, but I'm too stuborn to listen! It will be okay, I just have a little hump to get over.
Can't write much today because it's time to get back to work.....sorting more than 3000 capsules of amoxicillin into little bags of 21 each. Quick do the math, how many bags is that? .....answer 145. I'm really enjoying the nurses I am working with at the clinic. A very sweet group of ladies. They are teaching me a lot. I hope everyone is doing well at home today and that you all have a wonderful day. Its almost Friday!

Ouch

So, I'm realizing more and more everyday how wrong I am about everything. I need these people and to be here way more than they need me. I've tried so hard to be perfect my whole life as well as in all of my strivings that I have allowed myself to be crippled in fear. Fear of the wrong choice. Fear of failure. Fear of success even. Fear of my losing control. Funny thing is I never had control to begin with. I only thought I did. So now, nearly everything is out of my control. I have no control over driving myself to/from anywhere, no control over what I eat (unless I want to be really rude to my host family), no control over when/if I want to check facebook :), no control over when/if I talk to people back home, no control over when/if the shower is going to work....no control over any of the things I strived so hard at to keep my finger on so that I wouldn't realize just how much I am lacking in myself. But I am lacking, and that is why I am so thankful that I have a Savior who is not.
Just this morning, I was eating breakfast with one of the host sisters (spaghetti with ketchup sauce and refried black beans) and she asked me how I slept. I tried so hard to explain to her I didn't sleep well, not for bad accomodations, but because my worrying kept me awake. Try explaining to a 15yr old in a little village in Guatemala what there is that I have to worry about. Nothing. I am learning by such an example as my host family what it means just to get up each day and live. Live in faith, in love, and in hope.
My host family is very sweet. Its a family of 7 children (6 girls and one little boy). 2 of the girls have moved out and gotten married, but the oldest in the house is 24yrs old like me. And guess what she does.....well, besides helping out selling and making bread, she is a nurse and a school teacher. Everyday at 4:30am, the entire family (and me grudgingly :) gets up and they take their bread to all the little stores in the village to sell. Then, after breakfast, one by one they each go to their different activities, whether school for the younger ones or other jobs for the eldest. And they just love each other. And they walk in faith knowing that God is in control. They are thankful that they have their father still who just underwent a kidney transplant, donated from one of his daughters. Just thankful. I want to live that way. I want to know that kind of faith and love. Hopefully one day I will, and for now I am trying to grow little by little.
Today is my first day at the clinic, and I'm on lunch break. (bologna sandwich with ketchup and american cheese! haha!) The clinic ladies are so sweet, and my supervising nurse is awesome (Rosario, all of 4ft tall) I felt like a giant among them in the prayer circle this morning. Today I am making 100 charts for the surgical patients that will be here in the first week of September for a team of surgeons from home. So my question is, does that make me one of the Guatemalan nurses or American? Hmmm. Will write more soon. So thankful for everyone and praying for your safety and hearts.

I got punk'd

Yesterday was unbelievable. I like how in my last message, I confidently laid out my travel plans as a mere matter of fact about my transportation to Guatemala. Funny thing is that nothing happened the way I said it would yesterday! Isn’t that how it always is? We set out with a plan from figurative point A to point B because realistically that is the most logistic and thought out route. Right? Wrong. We have no omnipotent control over what happens in our lives. Yes we have free will but that doesn’t mean things won’t happen outside our control to land you in a totally different spot than you had pictured. But, the hope in all this is that the new place in which you land will to be far more beautiful than the place you had imagined. What kind of God would we serve if that wasn’t truth?

So, I am learning more and more that I just have to walk out on the water in faith rather than remain controlled by fear in the boat. Here is a quote from one of the books I brought: The G.I.F.T. by Max Lucado:

“Faith is not born at the negotiating table where we barter our gifts in exchange for God’s goodness. Faith is not an award given to the most learned. It’s not a prize given to the most disciplined. It’s not a tithe bequeathed to the most religious. Faith is a desperate dive out of the sinking boat of human effort and a prayer that God will be there to pull us out of the water.”

So, yesterday when I was feeling like I got punk’d over and over again, I had to keep telling myself that all things happen for a reason. In faith, I can know that in all things there is a specific season, purpose, and reason.

Just for kicks, want to know the details of what happened yesterday?! Well, mom, Jessie, and I drove to the Knoxville airport to send me off, but for some reason the automatic kiosk wasn’t working for my ticket. Why you ask? Probably has something to do with the fact that my ticket was out of Nashville! (My friend who bought the ticket forgot that I wanted to fly out of Knoxville, and I didn’t even notice that whole different city thing.) Ya, don’t know how I overlooked that one. Well, after rescheduling to a later flight, Jessie and I jumped in the car and drove Amazing Race style to Nashville where I made it through security and to my gate with plenty of time. Everything looked good. We boarded that plane on time, had a great seat, but then they decided they had to change out the whole braking system so we were delayed 2 hours. I landed in Houston when my plane to Guate started boarding…..3 concources away! So, after a mad dash (I am grossly out of shape even without the 30lbs of luggage strapped to my body), I made it just in time. Funny thing was that the easiest part of the traveling was getting through the Guate airport, finding a shuttle to my hotel, and checking in the hotel…where I barely spoke the language. At least it makes for a good story….and some really good lessons for my heart. So now I’m just relaxing at the clinic. My supervisor just wanted me to take the day to rest a bit. I will go to my host family either tonight or in the morning, and I will let you know how it goes. I’ve heard it’s a house full of sisters whose family runs a bakery. This could be dangerous.

T-minus 20 hours

It's finally arrived! My flight goes out tomorrow, Sunday, at 12:25pm from Knoxville, TN. I have about a 5 hour layover in Houston then it's on to Guatemala City. I will arrive in Guatemala City at about 9:15pm and stay at the Biltmore hotel for the night. In the morning, Dr. Walter Sierra with Health Talents International will pick me up at 5:30am to drive into the little area of Montellano where the clinic and village are that I will be staying and working in. Yikes! Seems a little daunting!