Time goes on but I feel like I'm standing still

I got asked by a former nursing instructor and friend of mine to send out a facebook message to the 2007 class of Lipscomb University Nursing Alumni for a reunion coming up. I didn't really think anything of it....I thought it would fun to hear from everybody. So, I sent out my message today, and as I was adding different names to the list, I realized how much some of their lives have changed. Many have gotten married, moved to different cities, had babies, finished grad school already, some have had illness, some have gotten better, some have traveled the world. It seems like so many of them are moving forward in the typical progression of life and doing it happily without any self-imposed opposition. Some have said that things fall apart so better things can fall together. So, why do I feel like I haven't moved at all- that my feet are stuck in the quick sand of the same struggles, worries, heartaches, and shortcomings without a whole lot falling into place? I keep waiting for that stepping stone to rise out of the sand and illuminate the beginning of a path to follow. But its not happening. So many people tell me to just enjoy being single, and the fact of the matter is that committing to a relationship scares the hell out of me. Why is that? What is it about me that God hasn't torn down my walls of opposition and blessed me with a relationship? Why is it that so many people can be open to life and love and its changes but I am not? Why do I let myself get close enough to the fire to feel the heat but can't let myself be engulfed? Looking at all my friends' lives from nursing school, I see how their lives have moved forward, continue on, but I'm in some kind of time warp where I haven't let myself grow away from the same person I was 3 or more years ago.